Rest/Test week half way done

This week is rest/test week.  I've done the bike, the swim is tomorrow. I can't do the run due to my broken toe.

I'm not very happy with myself, training, etc.  I did a bike test (20 minutes as hard as you can go, recording average watts, average HR and max HR).

My power to weight ratio after this test (so the amount of whats based on my weight I can put out) is slightly below where I was last year.  I'm frustrated with this test result because it was like the entire time i just saw the numbers slipping through my fingers.  I went out REALLY hard for the first 3 minutes.  Then I just saw my average watts just drop, and drop and drop some more.  Then I just couldn't get it to move up from the number.  From the last 3 minutes I was out of my seat, telling myself to just get one more watt.  It still wouldn't move though.  It was so frustrating.  I thought if i went out really hard I could just tell myself to fight through the pain until the 20 minutes was over.  It didn't work.

Sigh

There's just this disappointment in myself.  I'm telling myself to make this a learning opportunity so I never have this feeling again.

Tomorrow is the swim test.  Hopefully that has improved.